Ultimate Survivor
by beanpaste-chan
Summary: Eight high-school kids sign up for a game show with frightening results, including lobsters, zombies, murder, romance, and lost civilizaions. Slightly AU, 'cause they aren't ninjas. WARNING: CHARACTER DEATH! Really, I mean it.
1. Introducing Our Contestants

**Finally, wouln't let me add this on. Stupid internet.**

**Anyways: I don't own Naruto, I don't own game shows, I don't own the lobsters. **

**I am not Masashi Kishimoto.**

**I am not the guy who created Survivor or anything of the like.**

**I am not... whoever created lobsters.**

**Good night, and good luck.**

* * *

Applause sounded, then a man wearing a surgeon's mask walked onto a stage. He had grayish-white hair, yet he was young, and wore an eyepatch over his right eye.

"Yo, I'm Kakashi, and you're watching season 13 of Ultimate Survivor. For those of you just starting to watch this season of U.S., I was season one's winner, that's why I'm wearing all this junk on my face. I don't wanna freak you people out.

Anyways, let's introduce our lovely contestants!"

A boy of high-school age walked onto the stage. He had blond hair and blue eyes, and grinned at the studio audience.

"This is Naruto, the Generally Happy Guy Who Everybody Likes."

"Hi!" said Naruto.

"Naruto, why do you want to win the title of Ultimate Survivor, and the million-dollar prize?"

"Uh, I need the money."

"Anything you wanna say to people watching?"

"I hope you people will all be pulling for me!"

"Okay," said Kakashi, brushing a stray strand of hair out of his eye. "Here's our next contestant: Sasuke, the Emo Kid."

Sasuke walked out. He wore all black, and his black hair was blacker than his eyes, and his eyes blacker than his blackity-black-black soul.

"Sasuke, same question as Naruto."

"I want the money, and I want to tell my jerk brother to go-"

"That's enough of that! Next contestant: Ino, the Free Spirit!"

Ino was platinum blonde with light blue eyes. She grinned happily.

"Hey, Kakashi. I'm on here because it's gonna be a good adventure, and I need the money. I, like, totally ruined my dad's car.. Anyway, Bioshock rules!"

"Contestant number four: Neji, the Prissy Guy."

Neji had longish brownish-black hair and light violet eyes. "I need the money." He went to go stand with the other contestants.

"Number five: Shikamaru, the Whiny Cool Guy."

Shikamaru came out. He was tall, with brown hair and an earring in his left ear. He didn't even answer Kakashi, just waved and went to join the others.

"Um... number six: Hinata, the Shy Girl."

Hinata came out. She had black hair with a blue sheen, light violet eyes, and looked horribly frightened. "Um... my dad wanted me to do this..." She went and joined the rest.

"Number seven: Sakura, the Mean Chick."

Sakura was very striking; she was pretty, with long pink hair, teal eyes, and a somewhat vapid expression. "I need the money."

"Finally, our final contestant: Gaara, the Moody Punk! I can't wait to see this kid off his happy pills."

Gaara was, if that was possible, more striking than Sakura. He had a mop of red hair, green eyes, a tattoo of the Japanese character for 'love' on his forehead, and multiple piercings on his ears. "Shut the hell up, Kakashi."

Kakashi looked shocked for a moment, then raised his microphone. "We'll match our contestants in pairs... after this commercial break.

* * *

Hinata glanced warily at the rest of the contestants. She wouldn't mind being paired up with Ino or Shikamaru or Naruto, but she thought the rest of them looked scary. Especially Gaara. But, knowing her luck, she knew she'd be paired up with one of the scary ones.

"Hey, I hope none of us gets killed this season," Ino was saying to Sakura. "It would suck _so_ bad if I died and left my dad without a car!"

"Aaaaand we're back! The computer has matched the pairs up, and they shall go as follows: Naruto and Sasuke, Ino and Neji, Shikamaru and Sakura, and Gaara and Hinata. Everybody, get into pairs!" said Kakashi. Hinata thought that he sounded like her gym teacher.

"Damn, shoulda known I'd get stuck with a bitc-"

Sakura gasped and kicked Shikamaru in the leg. "Hey, don't you dare call me that!"

Hinata sneaked a look at Gaara. He was staring off into the distance, ignoring everybody and everything.

"Okay," said Kakashi. "This season's location is Isla de las Langostas Monstruosamente Grandes. Here's a little history for ya: when the Spanish landed there, they started to settle it, but they fled from the island a few days later, screaming for their mothers. I don't know why, but I suppose our contestants will find out! Now, we're sending our contestants out on a plane, and they'll be back after these messages!"

* * *

"Okay, guys, you're on your own now. Just you people, the island, and our viewers. Have fun!" And with that, Kakashi went off on a boat, leaving the contestants alone.

"Oh my god, why did I sign up for this, why, why, whyyyyyyy..." Sakura's statement summed everybody's feelings up. They were all somewhat homesick (except for Gaara and Sasuke, who looked the same) and hungry.

"Hey, w-what's that?" asked Ino, alluding to a loud clacking, like that of many large insects on tile.

"OH MY GOD! Now I remember what Isla de las Langostas Monstruosamente Grandes means! It means 'Island of the Freakishly Large Lobsters!" Naruto yelled.

And, indeed it was.

* * *

**Review, my pretties!**

**Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!**


	2. Island of the Freakishly Large Lobsters

**Chapter 2!**

**I wrote this while listening to 'Super Shooter' by Rip Slyme. It's fun!**

**Anyway, I don't own Naruto. **

**Read, please!**

* * *

"Run, run for your lives!" shrieked Ino, and they all ran around like chickens with their heads off, except for Shikamaru, Gaara, and Sasuke. Shikamaru picked up a lobster that was crawling on Sakura (who had fainted) and punted it into the distance.

"Ew, ew, ew, omygawd ew! They're just like big roaches!" yelped Neji.

Hinata plucked one off her foot and threw it, as far as she could, into the sparkling blue water. She shrieked as another started crawling into her jeans. "Oh my god, look at how huge they are!" The lobsters were about two feet long, with hard grayish shells and many squirming legs.

Gaara kicked one away from his foot and grabbed a rock. He brought it down on the lobster's body, and it immediately stopped writhing. "These gotta be good to eat," he muttered, picking it up by one of its legs.

Sasuke had started knocking the throng of crustaceans back with a stick into the water, and was quite successful. "We'd better split up now; we'll get rid of the lobsters better that way."

* * *

_Sasuke was wrong!_ Hinata thought, stumbling through thick bushes and trees. The lobsters seemed to be everywhere, even in the trees! Hinata squeaked as she felt a hand on her hair.

"A lobster fell on your head," muttered Gaara.

"O-oh. Um, thank you!" She jumped about a foot when another enormous lobster dropped onto her shoulder. _I wonder how the others are doing?_

* * *

Sakura shrieked as she woke up to find a lobster staring at her. "Holy crap! Oh my god, I thought this was all a dream!"

"It's obviously not, since we're still here- there's a lobster in your hair!"

Sakura squealed, yelling curses. "Oh my god, get it out, get it out!" She tore frantically at her head.

"Ha, I got you!" Shikamaru chuckled, slapping his leg. "Damn, that was worth it just for the look on your face. Do you want any food?" He offered up a piece of lobster on a stick.

"Ick, no thanks. I never wanna see a freaking lobster again as long as I live. Do you have anything else?"

"Lobster. Nothing more of anything else on this island; lobster, lobster, _lobster_. It's quite good, though."

Sakura crossed her arms over her chest. "No thanks. I'd rather starve than eat those things."

"Your loss." Shikamaru slid the lobster chunk off of the stick and popped it in his mouth.

* * *

"Gaara, Gaara, look at this!" Hinata waved from near a tree. "Look, apples!" She bit into one. "Ugh, it's bitter."

Gaara grabbed a fruit. "Not all bitter. It's just the peel." He plopped down on the ground and took out a switchblade. Hinata picked at the fruit with her nails.

"Need some help?" he asked, tossing the switchblade up and catching it. His apple was already peeled.

"Um... yeah."

Gaara grabbed the apple and peeled it quickly. He then handed it back to Hinata, and bit into his own apple.

"It's good! Um... Gaara? I know I can't really ask this so early in the game, but what are you going to do with the money? If we get it, I mean."

Gaara was silent for a long time. Then, he spoke. "I... don't really know what I want." With that, he picked up a stick and lit it on fire with a lighter he fished out of his pocket. He picked up more sticks, and set those on fire, too. "It's getting dark. We need to rest, or else we won't survive long."

Hinata nodded in surprise and pulled a lobster out of her hair. She was getting used to the presence of the crustaceans, yet there was still something unsettling about them...

* * *

**Ooh, building lobster suspense... I hope this doesn't have to end up like Gyo... I read the wikipedia article about it, and it was SOOO SCARY!!!**

**I'm going to be frightened of fish with legs for the rest of my life.**

**Review, pretty please?**


	3. Building Suspense

**Third chapter, dear readers! I wrote this... I don't remember when. **

**AAAAANYWAY... Let's get back to the action!**

**Sasuke: Am I in this chapter?**

**beanpaste-chan: Yes.**

**Sasuke: Naruto, too?**

**beanpaste-chan: Yes.**

**Naruto: YAYS!**

* * *

Ino woke up, pulled a lobster out of her shirt, and proceeded to try to make a fire. She had already had a screaming fight with Neji, and she wasn't sure how he'd be that morning. She hummed as she rubbed two sticks together.

"You piss me off." Neji had just appeared, rubbing grit out of his eyes and stretching.

Ino smiled wryly. "Good morning to you, too! Now, what do you want, for breakfast, lobster or lobster? Or maybe even some lobster!"

"Shut up," Neji muttered, yawning. "If we want to win, we have to get going quickly."

"Get going to do what? All we need to do is survive. We can just sit here, relax, eat some lobster... Y'know, lobsters go for, like, ten bucks a pop back at home. We're living the ultimate luxury: sittin' on a beach, eating lobster..."

He yawned. "Whatever."

"Just think of this, it's better than school! Right about now, you'd have to be doing math..."

Neji glared. "I _like_ school."

Ino looked at him strangely. "You're crazy. Or stupid. Or both."

"We have to work together if we want to get a million dollars," Neji growled. "Hand me a lobster, I'm hungry."

"Ah, lobster in the morning. Better than Lucky Charms," Ino sighed. "All we need is some water, and we're good to go. I'll go look, nerd."

"Don't call me that!" Neji yelled after her.

Ino gasped, a few meters away from Neji. "Oh my god. Neji, come look at this!"

He came rushing in, and gasped. "Oh my gosh, this is incredible!"

"I know, isn't it?"

They had stumbled on a rushing, clear waterfall, sparkling with clear water. Small, silvery fish swam happily under the rushing liquid.

"Let's tell the others about this..."

"You know what, Ino? If we want to survive, we have to _outlast_ all the others. We need to _survive_... Get it?"

Ino cocked her head. "Um... no?"

Neji sighed, exasperated. "If we don't tell anybody about this, they'll all die of dehydration and we'll win."

Her face brightened and split into a grin that could only be described as 'evil'. "Neji, we're gonna have fish tonight. No more lobster for us!"

Sasuke trudged through the dense undergrowth. "Dammit!" he screamed as a bush snagged and scratched him, leaving a bleeding cut. There was no way he could live on lobster. There was no way Naruto could live only on lobster. They had split up to find another food source, and now he was lost.

"Dammit, dammit, dammit!" he shrieked, whacking away a bush. "Dammit-" His face spread into a grin as he saw what lay in front of him, and ran back to camp.

"Sasuke, didn't find any... Holy crap, where'd you find all that?" Naruto stared at the coconuts spread out on the ground, counting with his eyes. "HOLY CRAP, you got twenty? Where'd you find all these? Where-"

"They were all on these trees. Took me a few trips to get them all back, but look, they're still good!" He gestured with a pale hand to an open coconut. One half was filled with thick white meat. Naruto launched himself upon it, sticking his face in the meat. Sasuke leaned back against a tree, grinning like a madman. "Jeez, I haven't felt this good in years. It's so much better than school, or anything, for that matter. I'm free to do whatever the hell I want, and I like that."

Naruto wiped his mouth on his sleeve. "I hear ya, I hear ya."

Sasuke removed a lobster from his shoe, and put it on. Falling asleep against the tree, he thought he could see something running through the dense jungle, but disregarded it. _It was probably just one of the other contestants_, he thought as he drifted off into dreams.

* * *

**Oooh, look at all the pretty suspense!**

**I started reading Battle Royale for 'research' for this story. It's pretty good! Not disturbing at all!**

**I need to read Lord of the Flies, too. Just for 'research'. **

**Be nice and review, please? It is my Hellbunny's will...**

**XD**


	4. We'll Try To Say Goodbye

**Yesss, another chapter! SUCESS!!!**

**Okay, let's get this straight. I don't own Naruto.**

**Now that that's out of the way, let the fun begin!!**

* * *

Hinata stared at Gaara. He had taken his switchblade out of his pocket and was now chopping things with it. He was also laughing maniacally. Finally, he stopped suddenly and turned to Hinata, who was watching and looking somewhat freaked out.

"Am I scaring you?"

Hinata jumped a little bit. "Um... yes?"

Gaara grunted. "Good." He then went back to chopping what was to be that day's dinner.

It had been a whole day without anything exciting for them, except for when a lobster tangled itself in Hinata's long black hair, and Gaara had to chop off about half of it. The lobster was now to be part of their dinner, and for that Hinata was glad.

"Here." Gaara had handed her a bunch of leaves and apple and lobster meat on a flat rock. "It isn't exactly Cordon Bleu fancy-cooking, but it's food," he muttered, taking a bite of his own meal.

Hinata gingerly took a bite of her own portion, and found it was good. Gaara had managed to make lobster, leaves, and apple taste good together. _For that,_ Hinata thought, _he must be god or something._ She was not an especially religious person, but she held people who could cook well in highest opinion.

Suddenly, a shriek shattered the peace. Hinata jumped up and ran towards the sound without thinking, leaving Gaara to follow her.

Through the bushes, she could see someone's shadow quivering in firelight. Or was it the person herself who was quivering? It was Ino there, slumped to her knees over a body. She was sobbing heavily. Sakura was standing over her, trying to comfort her.

"O-oh... my... g-god..." she sobbed, with her hands in her face. "I-I have no clue w-what just happened... I just l-l-left to get some water..." she broke down and refused to talk any more, even when people prompted her.

Hinata walked over to Neji's body. He looked normal... except for the fact that there was a huge chunk of flesh taken out of his chest, like a huge animal had bitten him with giant teeth, but that wasn't the disturbing part.

The disturbing part was that, instead of being twisted into an expression of pain, his face was twisted into an insane grin, as if he had died watching something incredibly amusing. That was the disturbing part.

There was rustling, and Hinata stood up, waiting for something to happen. Then she realized that Naruto and Sasuke had just come into the clearing.

"Oh my god, what the hell just happened here?"

Sasuke bent down on one knee, shaking from head to toe, and leaned towards the body. "It looks like something gored him to death, or something bit part of his back out."

"We know that," Ino sobbed, "I know that! Just, please, do something, bury him, anything!" She lapsed back into sobbing. The clearing became so quiet that her sobs echoed in the silence, making her seem so much louder than she really was.

Finally, Shikamaru stood up and brushed dirt off his pants. "We should bury him somewhere nice, you know, it just seems right..." With that, he slung Neji's corpse over his shoulder and walked off. Everybody else followed without a word, like sheep.

* * *

The next day, the island was silent, and that matched the mood of the now seven teenagers there. All of them had put on the only black clothes they had (some of them had to borrow from Sasuke), and were standing in front of a slab of gray rock. Ino no longer sobbed, but quivered into Sakura's shoulder. Naruto bit his lip and looked close to tears.

"Neji," Shikamaru started, "we barely knew you. You were probably nice, though. We're all sorry you're dead. You died before your time, and I'm sure everybody you knew will lament that. Goodbye, Neji Hyuuga, teammate of Ino Yamanaka, everybody here will remember you for as long as our memories last."

Everybody there muttered hurried 'goodbyes', and walked away. Hinata closed her eyes. She was last in line, and she didn't know what to say. Tears brimmed at the corners of her eyes, and she finally managed to say something.

"Goodbye, Neji, my cousin. I'm sorry I never got to know you better. I'm sorry I never even looked at you, and I hope, wherever you are now, you're happy." She brushed her tears away and dropped a small flower she'd found on his makeshift grave.

Shikamaru motioned to Gaara, and he came up, brandishing his switchblade. After what seemed like an eternity, a small pile of stone chips lay on the grave and the word '_Neji_' was carved into the rock in rough letters.

The rest of the teenagers walked away, but Hinata stayed behind with Gaara. She stared at the grave miserably, and didn't even try to stop herself from sobbing uncontrollably.

* * *

"Ino," Naruto asked, "do you want to stick with us? I mean, the thing that..." he almost couldn't say the word, "killed Neji could still be out there. We can't give you any of the money, but we can... protect you, if you want." He offered a hand, and Ino took it.

"I'd like that."

"Well, Ino, if you are part of our group now, you have to tell us where the water is."

Ino smiled grimly and twisted her hair around her finger. "Fine. But you have to share your coconuts with me."

* * *

**Wow, this was an emotional chapter. One of the most emotional I've ever written, if I do say so myself. **

**But it gets more exciting, 'cause Neji-kun was KILLED!! By something big... that tells of mysteriously evil things to come...**

**Anyways, review please:)**


	5. Secrets Revealed! Emotions Provoked!

**Heh, hey folks! Tonight's episode is kind of a filler... sorry. But it gets sooooo much better soon! And it's a good filler. **

**More revealed about Gaara-kun! Great for all ya Gaara-luvvers... like me.**

* * *

Naruto took first watch that night. Sasuke watched him as he fell asleep. _He just looked so... noble, sitting there,_ Sasuke thought. The way he held a lighter close to his heart like a cross, the way he looked out into the darkness so absent-mindedly. And he kept that image in his mind as he slept. As soon as he knew it, Naruto was shaking him awake with a sleepy face. "Hey, can you take the next watch?"

Sasuke nodded. "Sure." _Oh god, he has the longest eyelashes... _Then he was getting up, Naruto was curling up in the place he had occupied just seconds before, and he was standing there... waiting for something to happen and listening to Ino and Naruto breathe.

He held the lighter out at arm's length, illuminating a small circle of land. Was that someone running he heard? Or was it only the wind? Sasuke brushed a lock of dark black hair out of his eyes. It seemed like days, months, years, since he was living on his own, keeping away from his brother, living a normal life. He no longer felt normal, but a part of something... larger. Something special and dangerous. Adrenaline ran through his veins just thinking about the fact that he might be found with his back gouged out an hour later. No, he wouldn't think about that. He'd just think about Naruto, and how blue his gorgeous innocent eyes were...

* * *

Gaara waited, clutching his switchblade to his chest. There was something out there; he could hear it breathing heavily, he could practically see it in his head. It was just waiting for him to fall asleep so it could kill him, but he wasn't going to give it that chance. After what happened to Neji, he needed to be wary, and screw the consequences. If he couldn't defend himself tomorrow, so be it. He wasn't going to be defenseless at night, when the thing roamed free.

Hinata looked so innocent, asleep. She didn't even snore, Gaara realized. But she was muttering something. Something about cookies? 'Mum, I want another cookie?' It didn't really matter. He was only observing, anyway.

But he felt so tired, and he just wanted to go curl up somewhere... _No. I can't let it eat me._ The thing out in the jungle was a serious fear for him. He was actually afraid, and the fact that he was afraid scared him. He almost laughed. Gaara, afraid? The Scourge of Ruthlessness, the Lord of Sullen Stares, afraid of something that ran around in the cover of night and ate people's insides? It was very amusing to him, and he did laugh, but as quietly as possible. It was dang funny, and he was sure that 'the thing' might find it amusing, if it had intelligence. _It's now 'the thing'. I might as well give it a name, like Hironobu, or... Saya. _

Again, Gaara choked out a raspy laugh. He was surprised that he was beginning to enjoy 'the thing'. If he ever got off that godforsaken hellhole, maybe he'd put the thing's head in his room, right over his bed.

* * *

The next morning, nobody was dead (as far as Hinata could tell), so she supposed they would be safe... for the moment. But Gaara did look tired and grumpy, and that could be potentially bad. They needed to work together, and that meant Gaara had to be inclined not to give her death glares every few seconds and freak her out.

"Uh... G-Gaara? I'll go get breakfast stuff, okay?"

He only grunted. There were dark shadows under his eyes. Hinata thought he looked like a raccoon, but she kept her observation to herself as she rushed off to find apples and a lobster. She could hear him muttering something in the distance. 'Damn lobsters'? Was he getting sick of lobsters already?

Hinata did not think she was a very good cook. Everybody seemed to think she was the small, cute, quiet domestic type, and they were half true. But she couldn't cook worth a darn. That was possibly what put Gaara in a terrible mood. After the lobster escaped from the spit it was being roasted on, and Gaara had to recapture it, Hinata decided to leave him alone and see how Ino was doing. Maybe _she_ wouldn't be grouchy.

* * *

"Ino? Ino, are you okay?"

The platinum blonde nodded. "I'm fine, just shaken. It helps if I close my eyes and imagine I'm lying on a lounge chair, drinking piña coladas with a cute guy." Well, for starters, she was sitting on a rock, but Hinata doubted rocks were as comfy as lounge chairs.

"Well, um... if it makes you feel any better... I don't think anybody got killed last night!"

Sasuke stopped trying to light a fire and glared. "That makes it even worse, Hinata. Now we know it's trying to lull us into a false sense of security, and then it'll get us all!" He laughed bitterly. "Bet your Gaara'll be fine. He goes to a school near where I live, and he's got quite the reputation. If there's anybody who'd kill that... thing, it'll be him."

Hinata blushed. "He's not _my_ Gaara. I doubt he's _anybody's_ Gaara."

Naruto pushed his way through some bushes behind Hinata, making her squeak and jump about a foot. "He goes to my school. He's a year ahead of me –he's sixteen- and god is he scary. I heard he beat up a teacher, and he's been trying to kill himself after getting into hella trouble with the law. That's why he's got..." he gestured around his wrists, as if mimicking tying bandages.

"But it's okay!" he added hurriedly. "I doubt he'd try to... um..."

But Hinata had already put her head in her hands and started to sniffle.

"You're just making it worse, Naruto," Ino hissed acidly. "God, you're such an idiot!"

* * *

**Reviewums, dear readers!**

**I started reading Twilight. Feh, Edward Cullen's not as good as my Fang. Sorry, Edward fans, but I'm attracted to... guys with wings. If Eddy had kitty ears... or was a twin... now, that'd be a different story. **


	6. The Calm Before the Storm

**Another almost-filler, dear readers!**

**Sorry it's so short. I was lazy.**

**But don't worry, I've got more action-type-plot coming soon to a compy near you!**

* * *

The next morning, everybody was alive and a storm was stirring. The sky was a smoggy gray, and it drizzled a little bit every few hours. The one good thing was that Gaara was in a better mood, and that made Hinata happy, rain or not.

"Oh, listen, birds!" she announced cheerfully. Indeed, birds were twittering, despite the small downpour of rain that was soaking them to the skin.

"Oh, listen, food!" Gaara announced, not unhappily, taking a small gun from his messenger bag. They had a good breakfast, although Hinata began to regret eating the bird after eating it. _Poor birdy, _she thought sadly. Then she remembered she was on an uninhabited island trying to survive, and she didn't feel as bad.

After breakfast, they went down to the waterfall and refilled their canteen with water. Hinata also took a short bath while Gaara went to catch lunch, and came back to their small camp feeling refreshed, if not a bit chilly.

While eating lunch, Hinata realized something. "Oh, I'm sorry, I should've been calling you Gaara-senpai," she said worriedly, "if you're a year older than me."

"No, it's fine," he said, sounding somewhat startled.

She breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh, thank goodness, most of the senpais at my school would think I was being disrespectful if I didn't call them that."

"What school do you go to?"

_Wow, that was unexpected. _"Um, Konoha High."

"You know what, that's in the same area as my school," Gaara mused. "We must live in the same city, then."

Hinata smiled, although she didn't know why.

* * *

Ino had first watch the previous night, and was tired and irritable, lashing out at anybody who happened to be there. (Those happened to be the lobsters, which were often crushed underfoot by a wrathful Ino, or killed in some other gruesome manner.) They had a lot of lobster for meals that day.

"I'm freaking _sick_ of lobsters!" Ino finally screamed that afternoon, gnawing on a hunk of lobster claw. "I want something else for a change!"

"We have coconuts," Naruto offered, and Ino happily grabbed one and started eating. Then, it started drizzling suddenly, soaking them all.

"Nooo," Ino yelled, shaking her fist at the sky, "please, don't start raining _again..._"

"Too bad. It looks like it's gonna pour tonight," Sasuke said, eating a lobster. "And then the wind will pick up. It's gonna suck for the next few days, basically."

Ino glared. "What are you, a weatherman?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever. I feel the weather in my-"

"_Soul_?" asked Naruto and Ino together. They looked at each other strangely.

"I was _going_ to say bones, but soul works too."

"You're an idiot, Sasuke," muttered Naruto. Suddenly, he stopped what he was doing and stared at his hand for a little bit, disregarding everything going on around him. Finally, he looked away from his appendage and rejoined the conversation. Sasuke was sure that Ino didn't notice Naruto's strange behavior, but he noticed. _Was that a sign of bad things to come, or is it just me?_

* * *

**Ooo, ominous, ne?**

**I got the staring-at-hands thing from my sister, who was commenting on how much Sora used his hands in gesticulating and stuff in KH2. Then she started miming stroking her hands, or rubbing them against her face. Then, she mouthed, "Riku, look at my hands! Aren't they awesome! Do you wanna touch 'em?"**

**I love my sister.**


	7. Tempest

**Ooh, mucho kowaii chapter!**

**Sorry for the bad language usage. **

**But really! Scary! Soon, we'll know what excactly it was in that jungle...**

* * *

The evening was cold and gray, and the night was even worse. Fierce winds whipped clothes, hair, everything around erratically. Even the lobsters took shelter in shoes or bags.

_Can lobsters even feel fear?_ Hinata asked herself, pulling a particularly fretful lobster out of her backpack. She winced as it pinched her finger in a mad rush to escape her clutches, and flung it on the ground. "Sorry, sorry!" she muttered as it scuttled away looking miffed.

Gaara was sure something would happen that night. Storms were perfect times to strike, as everybody was busy trying to take shelter. The 'thing' was probably expecting that people would go further into the jungle to escape the storm, and fall into its trap. _Well, _he thought, _that ain't gonna happen. _He and Hinata would ride the storm out at the edge of the jungle, in deep enough to stay sheltered, out far enough not to be eaten.

"I-I'll take the first watch," Hinata said bravely, grabbing Gaara's switchblade from the ground.

* * *

"It's getting so dark! We won't be able to see if we can't make a fire!"

"Shut up! I'm trying," muttered Sasuke. It was very dark. And it was cold, and a fire _would _help, but he just couldn't get his lighter to light. "Dammit! It must be out of fluid!" He rubbed his hands together. He heard a rustling, and jumped up. Something emerged from the dense jungle...

"Oh my god, Sakura!" Ino ran to the pink-haired girl, who was slung over Shikamaru's shoulder. She was breathing heavily. Was that blood dripping from her shoulder, staining Shikamaru's shirt?

"She got bitten by something," he said, taking a handgun out of his waistband. "I'm going to go look for it, can you guys watch her?"

Sasuke opened his mouth to say something, but Shikamaru dropped her on the ground. There was a huge chunk of flesh missing from her shoulder.

"Oh, god, crap, dammit! This is so freaking scary," Naruto said. "It might be one of us next!"

"Don't worry. It'll go for the one who can run slowest first."

"That isn't reassuring, Sasuke," Ino sobbed.

He smoothed Sakura's hair from her face. She was feverish, almost in a coma, and sweating frighteningly. "It looks like the bite didn't kill her. Maybe –if she wakes up- she can tell us about what attacked her!"

"I hope so, I hear something else coming!"

"T-that's just the wind or something, I'm sure of it," Naruto reassured. He didn't sound very sure.

Sasuke jumped when Sakura's hand twitched and she croaked, "Water. Give me water..."

* * *

"I think I heard something. I'm gonna go check it out."

"Gaara, don't leave me! I don't have any other weapons..."

He tossed Hinata his handgun. "Here, I have an extra."

"T-thanks."

As the redhead stalked off, Hinata curled up in a little ball, shaking fiercely. "Nothing's gonna happen to me," she reminded herself. "Nothing's gonna happen, nothing's gonna happen, nothing's gonna happen!" Something rustled, and her senses sharpened. She could hear the thing's breath, it's feet on the ground, smell its rancid stench, almost feel its hands around her neck... She pulled the trigger at something at the shadows, and a shot rang out in the rain, louder than anything. Then another, and another, and another. Finally, she was almost out of bullets and the handgun was smoking furiously. Gingerly, Hinata walked up to see what it was she shot...

* * *

"Sakura, Sakura, what happened?"

She was drinking as if being in a deep desert for years. "Something bit me."

Sasuke glared, exasperated. "We _know_ that. What bit you?"

"It was... I don't know. I couldn't see its face. But it smelled horrible, like... raw... meat..." and with that, she fainted. Her eyes rolled back into her head, and her breath came less frequently.

"Maybe... her... b-bite got infected?"

"Maybe," Sasuke muttered. "Maybe."

* * *

**Next chapter: Neji's murderer is revealed!**

**What was it exactly that killed our Neji-kun? Will he be avenged? Will the Neji fans avenge Neji-kun?**

**Review!**

**You'll find out next time... on Ultimate Survivor!**


	8. A Night of Flight and Murderers

**Hot dang! Another chapter! Neji's murderer(s) revealed! A bit of SasuNaru! Crazy mutant icky thingies! Random annoying exclamation!**

* * *

Hinata rushed to see what exactly she had shot. She gasped as the figure came into view.

It was only vaguely human, with glowing, bulging, pupil-and-iris-less eyes. The remnants of what might once have been a nose jutted out from a partially decayed face. Its mouth was barely a small gash near the chin, half sewn shut. Its whole body had a grayish pallor, and it was painfully thin. The thing's ribs, instead of being inside its body, were splayed out in random angles from its sides, giving Hinata a disgusting view of its innards. Suddenly, the thing roared, reaching for Hinata's leg. Another shot echoed through the cold night, not from Hinata's gun.

"Gaara! You came back!" she yelled over the howling wind.

"Of course I did!" he yelled back. "There are more of them in the jungle! I already killed three. Come on, the things are following us!" He grabbed Hinata's hand and pulled her along. She resisted. "Come on! We'll get killed if we don't go!"

"Where...? Where is there to go?" she asked warily.

"ANYWHERE!! Let's just go, before we're dead." He tugged even harder at her hand, and this time, she followed, grabbing their bags just in time.

* * *

"Sakura!" Naruto was shaking her shoulder frantically, but Sasuke knew she had stopped breathing minutes ago.

"It's no use," he said finally. "Naruto, get something to bury her with. She's gone."

Naruto gasped. "No, she can't be! She was... just... fine..." Tears came into his eyes, and Sasuke held him close before he knew what he was doing. Naruto sat there limply for a while, tears slipping down his face. "She... just..." he choked.

"I know," Sasuke said, trying to sound comforting. He just sounded on the verge of tears. Ino barely moved. She was huddled up into a ball, sobbing quietly.

"I've been to too many funerals in my life," were the only distinguishable words that came out of her mouth.

"It's okay," Sasuke muttered, trying to reassure, but failing miserably. "It's a-all gonna be okay..." He sniffled quietly. "It's all..." he stopped, and a tear leaked out of one of his eyes. "G-going to be..." Sasuke turned towards the jungle, just waiting for something, anything, to happen. "All right." The storm saw no end in sight, and that was good in Sasuke's book. That way, nobody could distinguish the rain from the steady stream of tears running down his pale face.

* * *

Something leaped out at Hinata, and she pulled the trigger on the handgun as Gaara pulled her along. "What if I missed!?" she asked in a frenzy.

"No time for that, we have to get as far away from here as possible!" He kicked out at a lobster, sending it in (what he hoped was) the direction of one of the things. There was a muffled roar as the lobster hit its mark, and a corpulent thing came barreling out of the jungle, wailing in a very deep tone. Unintelligible nonsense streamed from its mouth as Gaara pulled out a machete and slit its throat. "Keep running!"

"How do I keep running if the things eat me?" Hinata half-yelled.

"I don't know and I don't care, just run or else you'll die!"

Hinata shrieked as a female thing -with its eyeball dangling from its socket and a bird head dangling from its lips- barreled towards them. She pulled the trigger and shrieked again as the thing kept coming.

"Shoot it in the head!"

"I'm out of ammo!"

Gaara replied by slicing the thing's head off. He dug around in his messenger bag until he found a box of ammo. "Hurry!"

* * *

"N-nothing seems to be after us..." Naruto ventured to say. It was raining, and he looked horribly bedraggled. He tried to wrench himself out of Sasuke's grip, but he eventually stopped and remained still.

"They probably got Shikamaru and Gaara and Hinata. They're probably not hungry," Ino said dismally.

Naruto wiped his nose on his arm. "It's getting lighter. Maybe we should go look."

"Better wait 'till it's completely morning," Sasuke whispered. "It'll get completely light in about an hour." He was shaking.

"Yeah," Naruto said. "We should wait."

* * *

Hinata finally collapsed on the ground. It was getting lighter. The jungle was getting thinner. The things had stopped attacking.

"You're a slow runner," Gaara said quietly.

"What... do you mean... by that?" Hinata panted.

"Exactly what I said."

"Um... well..." Hinata stuttered, flustered. "Do you know what a-attacked us?"

Gaara leaned against a tree, rubbing his temples. "I don't know, and I don't wanna know." He whacked his way through the rest of the jungle with a machete, and gasped. "Hey, Hinata? You'd better have a look at this..."

* * *

**What did our darling Gaara-kun see? What exacly are those... things...?**

**If you review... MAAAYBE I'll write more. Maybe.**

**Okay, okay, I'm joking! Please don't kill me... I'll write more...**

**But review, okay?**

**Wow, Sasuke-kun was kinda OOC, now that I look back...**

**Sasuke: You got that right. **

**beanpaste-chan: Well, emo people are s'posed to cry, right? I mean, I read after this one opera came out, it made it fashionable for men to cry. (Ha, after I read that, I put on my best surfer dud accent and said, "Duuude, look at how much I cried today!!" Really, I read that guys used to collect their tears in vials. Stupid, ne?)**

**Sasuke: Well, I'm not like that. (sob sob)**

**beanpaste-chan and Sasuke: REEEEVIEEEEWWWWWW!!!!**


	9. Jeep

**Robin: Holy fanservice, Batman, is that another chapter?**

**Batman: Yes, Robin. Yes it is. Now shut up and let me angst over the fact that I really need a girlfriend.**

**beanpaste-chan: Um... excuse me, what are you doing in my computer? I really need to write more fanfiction.**

**Batman: Uhh... Quickly, my young ward! To the Batmobile!!**

**Okay, that was weird. Sorry if I freaked you out. I'll stop being _stoopid_ now. (sniffle sniffle) I'm just gonna go to the emo corner until you read and review...**

* * *

Gaara beckoned urgently, and Hinata came. What she saw in that clearing near the end of the jungle shocked her, although she might've seen such a sight often in Tokyo.

It was a green Jeep, just sitting in the jungle, trying to look like part of the greenery but only managing to look unnatural. Which, of course, it was. Unless trees had started to give birth to cars.

"Holy... Gaara, do you know what this means? We can get out somehow, we can..."

"No gas, no key, as far as I know." He grimaced. "Just makes it more unnatural. You know, the fact that we can't use it."

Hinata smiled, rubbing her aching legs. "Maybe not." She stalked up to the car, examining it. Then, she opened the hood and fiddled around for a moment, then came out, her smiling face smudged with old oil and rust. "Still has gas in it," she said, grinning.

He walked up to the car and turned it on from the outside, and jumped back as it rattled to life. "What the crap?!" he yelled. "You little... what the... sweet mother of the Almighty Hand of Fate, how the hell did you do that?"

"I hotwired it," she smiled, shyly trying to contain her pride. "I do it all the time. It's easier than having to borrow the keys from my dad."

"Oh, god, god, god! What else do you do that wouldn't fit in your personality?"

"Um..." she muttered shyly. "I don't really do anything worse than that, dad just won't let me drive anywhere..." By the time she looked up, he was already in the car.

"Come on, we can probably get out of this godforsaken jungle if we drive!"

Hinata nodded and ran to the car. _This is going to be... interesting..._

* * *

Sasuke shook Naruto's shoulder gently. "Hm? What?"

"You were nodding off. Are you hungry?"  
He sniffed. "Yeah."

"Could you get some food? Ino and I are kind of hungry too."

Naruto stood up. He wasn't really feeling in the mood to argue. "Sure."

"Thanks."

Ino finally looked up. She looked horrible; her eyes were puffy and her cheeks tearstained. She sniffled pitifully. "You like Naruto, don't you?"

Sasuke looked shocked. "What makes you think that?"

Ino smiled cynically. "Your happy glow is blinding when he so much as looks at you." She sniffed again.

He looked confused for a moment, then smiled secretively. "Well, he is just... very nice, and he has the most innocent smile..."

"Well, Sasuke, tough. He probably has a girlfriend by now."

He sighed miserably. "I know." He looked off into the distance and didn't say anything more for a long time.

* * *

"Hm," Gaara said, bouncing around in his seat. "Barreling through the jungle at a hundred miles-per-hour isn't as fun as I thought."

Hinata was curled up in her seat, chewing her nails and close to tears. "G-Gaara, stop before I-I'm sick all over the c-car..."

He grinned recklessly, his red hair whipping around. "No. We're going to be eaten by things if we stop, think of that." He looked down as a loud crunch was heard. "Oh, look! I think I ran over a lobster. I'm going to stop and poke it with a stick."

"P-please don't! I just want everything to stop..." she sniffled loudly.

Gaara sighed in mock annoyance. "Fine."

Hinata tried to look into her window, and then her head shot back down. She clutched her chest and curled up into a ball in her seat. "There's a light. I think we-we're getting out of the jungle." _Thank god._

Finally, the landscape opened up to something neither of them expected at all, some natural environment so unexpected that they gasped at the same time.

* * *

**GASP!!! You read this far!!! **

**Please review. My sanity and self-esteem depend on it.**


	10. The Staring Game and Spoons

**Thank you, Senpaiidude, for reviewing!!**

**I'm so grateful!!**

**Anyways, in honor of Senpaiidude, another chapter! And I ate dinner and stuff really fast just so I could crank another one of these out. This was a fun chapter to write. **

**On to the story!**

* * *

There, spreading out before them, was the largest desert they, and possibly anybody who has never been to the Southwest, had ever seen. It was dry, it was devoid of life, it was rocky. Hinata tried to speak, but instead a small choked noise came out.

Thankfully, Gaara was able to sum up both their emotions. He stood up in his seat and looked. "What... the... freaking... hell? We were just in a fricking jungle, and now we're here. Oh, Almighty Hand of Fate, please kill me off now!" He smacked his forehead with his palm and sat down quietly. They both stared for a few minutes that felt like hours. Then, they started laughing uncontrollably.

"Oh god, my stomach _hurts_!" Gaara exclaimed after a while. "There's no end in sight to the friggin' hellhole, right?"

"I don't know!" Hinata tried to smile, but she couldn't, because her face hurt. "I don't care! Let's just... go on. Maybe we'll get somewhere!" she giggled. Then they lapsed off into silence, broken only by the restarting of the old, green Jeep and the roaring emptiness of the desert.

* * *

"We need to move on," Naruto said, breaking the silence he obviously thought was unfriendly. "I mean, so we can get away from... whatever those things were..." 

"Ye-ah. You are so right, Naruto, it's not even funny anymore. Gawd, I just wanna go home. I'd give anything to see my dad, even after destroying his car..."

Sasuke said nothing, just put his arm around Ino's shoulder. She smiled gratefully.

"I mean, really? Where is there to go, Naruto?"

"I dunno, just... anywhere? A cave?"

She smiled at Naruto's naiveté. "Something makes me think they stay in caves during the day."

Sasuke nodded, finally speaking. "We need to go _somewhere_... I mean, there must be somewhere safe!"

"Spoon," he added, rubbing his chin.

"EXCUSE ME??" said Naruto and Ino at the same time.

"Sorry. Just needed to get that out of my head. God, I miss spoons."

* * *

It was silent in the old Jeep. It was driving both of them insane. They both thought the other was mad at them for some reason, but they kept quiet. 

Finally, Gaara felt something. Not, actually, anything physical, but the feeling you get when someone is staring at you. He turned his head, but Hinata was looking out the window quietly. He turned his head back to the road, but then he felt it again! He looked back, but she was still looking out the window.

_Ha! Two can play at that game, then._ Gaara turned his head to look at Hinata. She started turning her head back, and he looked back at the desert. He looked back at her, but she stared innocently out the window. Staring, he waited until her head was halfway turned to her, then he looked back outside. He turned his head quickly around, and she was staring at him.

"I knew it! You were staring at me!" he yelled, triumphant. "I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!" He pointed an accusing finger at her.

"Gaara," Hinata shrieked, "keep your eyes on the road!"

"There is no road! Ha!"

"You're just paranoid! I wasn't staring at you!" she yelped in her defense.

"Yes, you were! I saw you!"

"Well, you were staring at me!"

"Well... you stared at me first!"

"Well... you..." she stopped, stuck for an answer. "Spoon."

Gaara laughed. "What the hell? Spoon?"

"I don't know, I just don't know."

And then there was silence.

* * *

Ino stopped, in the middle of a sentence. "I have a question, though. What happened to Shikamaru? I mean, we never found him, and we never saw him..." 

"Maybe he got... lost?" Naruto offered.

"No, I get the feeling something else happened to him. Maybe the same thing that happened to Neji."

Sasuke stood up and brushed the dirt off his pants. "Well, do you want to find out?"

* * *

**Oooh, I love the staring game! My sister and I played this at my grandma's once. It was fun, and I guess kinda cool-looking when it got synchronized. People should try it out, especially on long car trips. I'd bet it'll drive the people you're going on the trip with nuts!**

**By the way, this is off-topic, but I found the best song ever. It's called Respect! by a Japanese artist called Metis. They have it on imeem, so I suggest, reader(s), that you check it out!**

**Please review!**

**Good night, and good luck. **


	11. The Dead Can't Tell Tales

**Thanks to Senpaiidude and Gaara'slittlegirl for reviewing!**

**And, Gaara'slittlegirl, it wouldn't be a surprise if I told you if they end up together or not, but they're listed as the main characters because they are the main characters and they're placed as a team.**

**Sorry this one is so late, too! My grandpa visited us yesterday, and I didn't get a chance to write anything.**

**But here's chapter 11!**

* * *

Sasuke walked in front, with Naruto right behind him and Ino last, holding on to the back of Naruto's shirt, though she was taller than he was.

"Ino, you brought a flashlight, right?"

"Um, yeah! Here you go!" she handed Sasuke a bright red metallic flashlight.

They were standing in front of a cave somewhere near where they had landed at the beginning of the whole fiasco (Sasuke had started to think of his situation as a fiasco). It was dark, damp, and just icky-looking. But the three brave reality show contestants wanted to know what happened to Shikamaru, so they decided to go in anyway.

"Ew," Ino yelped as she stepped on something wet and squishy with her bare feet. "What was that?"

Sasuke didn't stop walking. "Just ignore it; it might be better if you don't know."

"He's right, you know, it might just be sh-"

Sasuke put his hand over Naruto's mouth, half hoping he wouldn't bite him, half hoping he would. "We must use appropriate language around the lady, Naruto. It's common courtesy."

"Hey, I've said worse, guys!" Ino reassured them, and still they walked on.

* * *

"Um, Gaara, I think the car just ran out of gas."

He was kicking the old, green Jeep as hard as he could, screaming the worst curses he could think of. "Dammit! It's not out of gas, it's evil! It hates us! I can hear it mocking me!" Gaara stopped and clutched his head in his hands, muttering incomprehensible phrases.

Hinata leaned out of the open window of the Jeep. "Gaara, you alright?"

"Just fine," he retorted sullenly. "Peachy keen. Wonderful! Frickin' fabulous!"

She stared at the angry redhead concernedly, then returned to her seat. She knew she'd just have to ride his anger out.

A few minutes later, still muttering, Gaara climbed into the car. He crossed his arms and stared at Hinata. "I'm hungry."

Hinata was about to answer that they didn't have any food, but then her stomach growled. She stared inwardly at her innards. _Very opportune moment, stomach. Very nice indeed,_ she thought sarcastically.

"We don't have any food, do we?"

She smiled apologetically, and shook her head.

"Goddammit."

"Uh, but I bet there must be some food here, right?"

"I doubt it."

But they had water, and they had each other. That meant, if they got too hungry to bear, one of them could eat the other. Hinata had read about something like that, the Donner Party, where a bunch of people were on a mountain, they ran out of food, and they ate each other. She hoped it wouldn't come to that.

So on they walked. They didn't even bother to try to push the Jeep; it was too heavy, but they took all their supplies.

The desert extended on and on into infinity. No plants, animals, or anything except sand for that matter could survive there. It was hot and windy, and the sand got grit in eyes, mouths, ears, noses- in fact, let's just say that the sand just got everywhere- and stung everywhere.

It was a very miserable existence in that desert. Thankfully for our two heroes, it didn't last for as long as they thought it would. No, they did not die, but something good did happen. Something that neither of them would ever expect.

* * *

"Oh my god..."

"Well, Sasuke, I guess we found Shikamaru," Naruto half-laughed.

What was left of Shikamaru was a mutilated corpse. Some_thing_ had been chewing on it, which was made clear by the bleached bones on the lower half of his body. His face was twisted into an expression of horror. He was still holding the handgun that he had taken the night of the storm. Sasuke wrenched it from his grip.

"We'll need it," he said, turning around to see the three feral figures crouched in the opening of the cave.

* * *

**Didn't their mothers ever tell them not to go into caves inhabited by things? Oh well. **

**CLIFFHANGER!!!**

**Review if you want Sasuke, Naruto, and Ino to LIIIIVE!!**

**Naruto: that's not fair!**

**beanpaste-chan: well, you'd better deal.**

**Sasuke: you suck.**

**beanpaste-chan: I know I do, dear.**

**Shikamaru, Neji, and Sakura: REEEVIEWWW!!!!**

**Gaara: I thought they were dead...?**


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